the job

Now listen and listen good. I don’t want a bullet in my neck because you missed some important detail while you were daydreaming about shopping for hand-crafted salt and pepper shakers at next weekend’s town square bazaar.

The job’s going down tonight: Mickey’s already cased the joint and we’ve got a make on the alarm system. It’ll be Big Sammy’s responsibility to silence it, then the rest of us can get to work. We’ll have Ice Scraper Tony standing watch on one side of the building and Hamstring Louie on the other. Way I figure it, we’ll have three hours max to get into the safe. While Fingers is working on that, I want the rest of you mugs to clean out the display cases, and I mean spic and span. We’ll relay all the loot back through the tunnel to Little Sammy on the other side. We’ll do the same with the goods from the safe once Fingers cracks it then hotfoot it out to the warehouse.

We’ll stow the junk in the warehouse until we meet with the fence on Wednesday. Should be a pretty juicy cut for each of us if my man on the inside is right about that safe.

We’ll meet at 10 pm:

Tuesday, August 30, Kings Barcade, Raleigh: Savage Knights with Guns of El Baracho.
Catch some tasty jazz.
SK are Phil Martelli on electric bass, John Hubbard on tenor sax, Mike Isenberg on drums, Peter Lamb on tenor sax, Robert Pence on alto sax, bass clarinet, guitar.
GoEB are the drummer from Birds of Avalon and Dynamite Brothers and some other folks.
Come at 8 pm for the A/V Geeks show. 70’s movie previews. Should be a hoot.

Wednesday, August 31, Bickett Gallery: The Rumpus
Brian Sliwa (Caspian Sea Monsters, Motocaster) on keys and maybe guitar, John Randall Pelosi (Quisp) on cello, Nick Whitley (Cherry Valence) on drums, Robert Pence on horns and guitar.

Wednesday, September 7, Bickett Gallery: The Blue Rose Case
Chris Eubank on cello, Carrie Shull on oboe, Mahlon Hoard on tenor and soprano sax, Robert Pence on horns and guitar. Possible others.

And fer chrissakes don’t forget your piece. Those ratfucking bastards will never take us alive.

-The Ventriloquizzer DL
retroactivedynamics.com

underhanded deals

friends, lovers, acquaintances, victims:

Here in this quaint, provincial, 19th-century-morality town known as Raleigh we attempt once again to sow the seeds of aesthetic unrest.

Friday, August 26, Carrboro ArtCenter, West End Theater, 8 pm, free: Going away party for Walt Davis.
As the founder of Alliance for Improvised Music, Walt brought many a high quality travelling musician through our fair triangulation. If it weren’t for him, my unworthy ass never would have lived the dream of performing and recording with folks like Peter Kowald, Frank Gratkowski, Ned Rothenberg and Chris Cutler. As well as having the chance to witness the live playing of countless other great folks. He’s moving to New Zealand. Come to his party.
I will be improvising with Chuck Johnson (not sure what instruments he’ll bring), David Morris (tuba) and Mike Isenberg (percussion).
Also playing will be the Unstable Ensemble, the Mondre Moffet Quintet, and a trio consisting of Carrie Shull (oboe/english horn), Chris Eubank (cello) and Todd Hershberger (bassoon).
See http://www.artscenterlive.org/write/calendar.html

Saturday, August 27, 305 South, Durham, 4:20 pm: Odd International.
Slinky, slunky, pugnacious, crisscrossin’, flatfooted funk. Part of Saturday’s Troika Music Festival happenings at the brand spankin new 305 South.
Official showtime: 4:20. Dude. Crescent fresh.
troikamusicfestival.org
305southdurham.com
myspace.com/oddinternational

Tuesday, August 30, Kings Barcade, 10 pm: Savage Knights with Guns of El Baracho.
Savage Knights is hard jazz originals and standards.
John Hubbard on tenor sax (Black Castle, Media Circus); Phil Martelli on electric bass (Dude Garden, Daddy, Volcanos, Horribles); Mike Isenberg on drums (Kolyma, Table, Strange, Volcanos); Peter Lamb on tenor sax (Countdown Quartet).
Alls I know of Guns of El Baracho is that they play jazz and they share a drummer with Birds of Avalon and Dynamite Brothers.
And come earlier at 8 pm for the AV Geeks show. This one will be 70’s movie trailers. Skip always carefully selects hilarious shit from his archive for his periodic public viewings. Could be a pip.

Wednesday, August 31, Bickett Gallery, 10 pm, donations accepted: The Rumpus.
So far it looks as though I’ll be joined by John Randall Pelosi and Brian Sliwa (of Caspian Sea Monsters and Motocaster). I imagine they’ll be playing cello and keys, respectively, but there’s a chance for other instruments and guests.

Enough.

The Ventriloquizer DL
retroactivedynamics.com

a message from our sponsors

Show that special someone just how you feel with the gift of Hyper-Decorticate Pro-V (TM).

No more cortex, no more fuss.

Available at the following dates and locations, in the neighborhood of 10 pm except where indicated:

Wednesday, August 17, Bickett Gallery: Audio Arcade + Crowmeat Bob.
Splinter-drone flipflop.
With Christopher Thurston on synths & efx, JJ Kidder on synth and Steve Burnett on Chapman Stick & effects (http://www.neverwhere.org/~steve/music/).

Thursday, August 18, Kings Barcade, Raleigh: Orjazimprov.
A massive conglomeration of musicians will make ritualistic noise. Proceeds to go to Interact Battered Women’s Shelter. Not sure of the cover charge. I ‘magine it’s around 5 bucks.
Organized by Susan Humphries of the Feraliminal Lycanthropizers and Baaamphf!!!
kingsbarcade.com

Wednesday, August 24, Bickett Gallery: The Savage Knights.
We will perform from our repertoire of jazz/free-jazz/rock standards. Also more originals.
Phil Martelli on electric bass. John Hubbard on tenor sax. Mike Isenberg on drums. Peter Lamb on tenor sax. Crowmeat Bob on guitar, alto sax and bass clarinet.

Friday, August 26, Everett St, Raleigh: Kolyma, Strange, Media Circus.
House party. 2200 block of Everett, just up from the Cameron Village Harris Teeter, like the 2nd house on the left. I don’t know the precise address. It’s a house party; you can’t miss it.
Strange, Raleigh’s premiere psych band.
Media Circus, Raleigh’s premiere hardcore band.
Kolyma, Raleigh’s premiere stupid band.
Possibly in that order, starting around 9:30.

Saturday, August 27, 305 South, Durham, 4:20 pm: Odd International.
Skanky, skunky, disorderly, crosscuttin’, ugly funk. Kicking off Saturday’s Troika Music Festival happenings at the brand new 305 South.
Official showtime: 4:20. Dude. Crescent fresh.
305southdurham.com
myspace.com/oddinternational

–The Ventriloquizer DL
Intra-Localized Marketing Destabilizer
retroactivedynamics.com

subatomic seepage

Our loyal conflagration,

Listen very carefully to the sound of my voice and let no other thoughts distract you.
I will now begin counting backwards from ten. When I reach one, you will be open to any suggestion, however alien to your supposed moral character though it be.

Ten.

You are relaxing all the muscles in your body. Your very ligaments are becoming like old socks with the elastic worn to nonexistence.

Nine.

Your breathing has become slow, deep and regular. With each intake your sense of corporeality dissolves, consumed by the aetherometric transience of the oxygen that permeates you.

Eight.

You can sense each organ in your body as it unfolds into the plane of immanence and loses its contours.

Seven.

Your body without organs seeps into the world at large and you are levitating, able to peer down at your prone physical vessel beneath with a vision beyond sight.

Six.

Your nervous system has become a locus of electrical energy with infinite channels, a point of translation between the invisible world of forces and the perceptible world of materiality.

Five.

You have now begun to receive the solar rays of Ormuzd and Ahriman, and your spirit is voluptuously aflame with the power of the Cosmos.

Four.

Your entire sense of self, being, identity is lost amid the swirling vortex of the molecular forging of Reality Herself.

Three.

Time has become a dilating prism through which you refract.

Two.

You are a poem in the land of the dead.

One.

You will attend the following musical performances. 10 pm, unless otherwise noted.

Wednesday, August 10, Bickett Gallery: Robot Jamboree
All the performers for this evening are the licensed products of the MIT Artificial Intelligence Laboratory.
Armen Knox on guitar, Tyson Rogers on keys, Chris Eubank on cello, Rob Koegler on drums, Dan Partridge on singing saw and slide whistle, Tom Whitelock on guitar, Crowmeat Bob on horns and guitar.

Friday, August 12, Local 506: Dexter Romweber and the New Romans
Crawmote Bob will be joining Dex’s band for their Sleazefest venture. I’m afraid this might be kind of expensive since Sleazefest is a big deal. Which pretty much rules out all my friends. Sorry. Maybe you can sneak in the back. Or wait for your chance when the door guy’s busy bouncing some pistol-packin’, pompadoured cracker.
The whole thing starts at 7, but we’ll prob’ly go on at 11.
http://www.sleazefest.com/
http://www.yeproc.com/artist_info.php?artistId=847

Wednesday, August 17, Bickett Gallery: Mobius Trip
Audio Arcade will be joining myselves for some splatter-drone. That’s Christopher Thurston on synths & efx, JJ Kidder on synth and Steve Burnett on Chapman Stick & effects (http://www.neverwhere.org/~steve/music/).

Thursday, August 18, Kings Barcade: Orjazimprov
This will be a like 20-piece band making all kinds of glorious racket as a benefit for the Interact Battered Women’s shelter. This is being organized by Susan Humphries of Baaamphf!!! and The Feraliminal Lycanthropizers.
Guitars, horns, drums, DJs, dancers.
kingsbarcade.com

You may now return to your default everyday mode of consciousness.

The Ventriloquizer DL
Executive Disinhibitor
Retroactive Dynamics, Inc.
retroactivedynamics.com

apologies to Judge Schreber and David Blair.

Jezwit Iksercises

The Exercises of St. Ignatz:

The First Exercise: We must find us a brick. It shall be a fine “brick”, worthy of flight.

The Second Exercise: We must lie in wait with infinite patience for one “Kat”. Specifically, one of the dubious moniker “Krazy”.

The Third Exercise: We must make certain that no “Kop” will bear witness to our Kommunion with said Kat.

The Fourth Exercise: When the Kat does pass within the sweep of gravity’s arc, we must make the brick like unto a “missile”. If guided with true belief, it will gain its mark on the Kat’s Kranium.

The Fifth Exercise: If caught, we must do penance in the “Klink”.

These exercises must be preformed in the vicinity of 10 pm:

Wednesday, August 3, Bickett Gallery: Plausible Denial
Evasive tactics.
With Tom Whitelock on guitar, Rob Koegler on drums, Crawmeat Bob on horns/guitar.

Thursday, August 4, Aries Lounge: Odd International
Messy, mucilaginous, murky, musty, miscegelatinous, muleskinnin’, millgrindin’ monkey bidness. Part of the Jazz Anew series. I imagine Esotic will provide some imagery.
Included in this line-up: DJ Kraze - turntableaux/samplicity; Eric Broadway - drums; Christopher Thurston - basses; Parrish Anderson - keys/alto sax; Robert Chandler - guitar/alto sax. Maybe throw you some ‘bone.

Wednesday, August 10, Bickett Gallery: Robot Jamboree
Featuring Armen Knox on guitar, Rob Koegler on drums, Tyson Rogers on keys/noise (tysonrogers.com), Tom Whitelock on guitar, Dan Partridge on singing saw/slide whistle, Chris Eubank on cello/whathaveyou, Slowfeet Bob on horns/guitar.
Armen’s desription: Numerous new wave robots will converge at the Bickett Gallery to play the blues like it was programmed in their circuit boards. What would a Robot Jamboree sound like? Stop by and find out!
The folk singing duo of Armen and his conjoined twin sister Hanna, from the midwest, will open.

Friday, August 12, Local 506, Chapel Hill: Dexter Romweber and the New Romans
Looks like I’ll be joining Dex’s band on alto sax for their Sleazefest outing.
http://www.sleazefest.com/
http://www.yeproc.com/artist_info.php?artistId=847

Hurl your bricks with might and righteousness.

The Ventriloquizer DL
Incipient Participant
Retroactive Dynamics, Inc. (an affiliate of the Thomas Carlyle group)
retroactivedynamics.com

Apologies to George Herriman.

Broken Music Hour, WXYC, August 1, set list

• Magnus Lindberg - Action-Situation-Signification
• King Ubu Orchestru - Translation #1
• Edward Bear - Paraphrasite
• Audrey Chen - untitled (cut 2 from Supernumerary)
• Krzyzstof Penderecki - Emanationen
• Anton Webern - Quartett, op. 22