DNA Attack

Dear Resident:
We would like to request that all residual individuals report to the nearest genome-mapping facility at their earliest convenience for patenting procedures.
They will no doubt recall from Chapter IV, subsection lxviii, of the employee oath the enumerated requisites of molecular property, as originally outlined in the Monsanto Act of 1937. *

Family Fun.
As part of a new promotional campaign, Retroactive Dynamics Inc. will be providing free samples of our most recent patented experimental food product at the times and locations listed below. This is a part of our auto-regulatory testing process to make certain that you, the valued consumer, are safe from any possible harmful side effects that can be traced back to us.
Be sure to sign the disclaimer before devouring.

Wednesday, September 28, Kings: There will be no Wednesday Night Prayer Meeting on this night because Kings had another show scheduled. But it looks like a pretty crazy one, judging by the Independent write-up it got (at bottom of page): http://indyweek.com/durham/current/eightdays.html

Saturday, Oct 1, The Cavern Tavern, Chapel Hill: Dexter Romweber and the New Romans with The Jet-Set, The Chance, and Mustang.
This will be part of “Blackbeards Lost Weekend” (sic) at the Cave. I don’t know if it refers to the novel by Charles R Jackson, but I’m sure plenty of imbibing will be involved. And perhaps some piracy.
caverntavern.com

Wednesday, Oct 5, Kings: Again, there was already a regular Kings show booked. And again, it looks like a pretty off-kilter one.

Friday, Oct 7, Slim’s, Downtown Raleigh: Kolyma.
We will be throwing down two monstrously conceived sets of music.
myspace.com/kolyma

Wednesday, Oct 12, Kings: Savage Knights.
Our triumphant return to Kings. We’ll call you more dirty words than you could find in a mile of privies.

-The Ventriloquizer DL
Eugenicist General
retroactivedynamics.com

apologies to Jim Thompson.

* The Individual Incorporated Entity will take precedence in property rights over the infinitely unrecomposable Dividual Bioligical Entities (always plural) in everything up to and including all quantifiable molecular traits.

the wake

So you wander the streets in a hyperlucid daze and they resemble streets in movies you’ve seen, the lamplight casting a false glow over the set pieces like you’re in some Hollywood back lot waiting for your big break. They are generic: New York streets; or is it Paris; Shanghai; New Delhi? Wherever you might be, each street you make your way down seems to symbolically represent a street rather than be one.
And there’s someone on the corner signalling you, trying to get your attention, making complex hand-signals that you feel as though you should understand but you are like the bee who no longer recognizes the dance, the bee for whom pollen is a myth — never believing those who say they’ve discovered it across an anonymous field, directed by magnetism, immaculate in instinct.
This semaphoric stranger brings you to a party where the revellers engage in psychic skirmishes, their auras Boschian beaks, while sipping fashionable cocktails.

And you proceed to pluck the eyes of your lover with your own grisly beak.

Around 10 pm.

Wednesday, September 21, Kings Barcade: Razor Wire Safety Net + Neil Vendrick & John Randall Pelosi.
With NV on computer & guitar (he of Another Tombstone Dream, Stone Cold and Viroid Stew); JRP on cello (he of Quisp and Kismet); Crowmeat Bob on horns & guitar; Christopher Thurston on basses; possibly Brian Donohoe on drums.

Saturday, Sept 24, Local 506, Chapel Hill: Dexter Romweber and the New Romans with Kenny Roby’s Mercy Filter and Hot young Priest.
We will thrill you with songs and such.
Local506.com
http://www.yeproc.com/artist_info.php?artistId=847
hotyoungpriest.com
kennyroby.com

Sunday, Sept 25, Fuse, Chapel Hill: Savage Knights.
The ultimate in refined barbarism.
Peter Lamb on tenor sax (Countdown Quartet), Phil Martelli on electric bass (Dude Garden, Daddy), Mike Isenberg on drums (Kolyma, Olympus Mons), John Hubbard on tenor sax (Black Castle), Crowmeat Bob on horns/guitar.

Wednesday, Sept 28, Kings: there will be no installment of Health Jazz on this night because Kings has another show happening.

Then you wonder where you were as no time passed, the stasis unfolding like a vat of translucent glue up to your eyeballs, but your hair continues to grow and this is how you know there is no escaping time even on those empty plateaus where no thought can gain ground and the history of ideas is so baroquely woven through space that any movement would cause a violent ripple in the gnostic fabric of the earth’s sensorium. And she would have her vengeance.

And you wander back down the streets in a spasmodic fluidity, still the extra in a non-existent film.

-The Ventriloquizer DL
Beekeeper General
retroactivedynamics.com

apologies to Lawrence Ferlinghetti.

relocatin with satan

Friends, Colleagues, Conspirators:
Due to our recent merger with Interzone BioPlastics we will be relocating our weekly Wednesday Night Corporate Prayer Meeting to Kings Royal Barcade at 424 S McDowell St in scenic downtown Raleigh (kingsbarcade.com), effective tomorrow.
This is of course no ill reflection on our previous host, Bickett Gallery. We had a mutually beneficial relationship for well over a year. It is simply time for a change. Moving to Kings had been suggested many times and we finally caved to the idea.

In the neighborhood of 10 pm, unless hinterwise spouted:

Wednesday, September 14, Kings Barcade: The Red Circle.
Reuniting and meeting for the first time will be Rick Lassiter on double bass (ricklassiter.com), Brian McCune on trumpet/efx (formerly of Zone Rangers with Rick), David Morris on tuba (Defenestrator, Micro East Collective), Mike Isenberg on doumbek (Kolyma, Savage Knights), and Robert Pence on bass clarinet, alto sax, trombone and guitar.
This will lean toward the more atmospheric chamber noise.

Friday, September 16, Local 506, Chapel Hill: Pleasant with the Sames and North Elementary.
Pleasant CD release party. You will be pleased.
I imagine I’ll be sitting in on alto sax for a number or two.
pleasantmusic.com
thesames.com
northelementary.com

Saturday, September 17, Kings: Kolyma with Mowing Lawns and Maple Stave.
A triangulation of diverse bands from around the triangle.
maplestave.com
myspace.com/kolyma

Sunday, September 18, Berkeley Cafe, Raleigh, early-ish: Odd International.
Along with a bunch of other bands as part of a “neu romance” benefit show for the victims of both Katrina and the Bush administration (indulging its warmongering cutbacks and willful ignorance of threats actual rather than imaginary, unless the threats happen to be in Jeb’s state and occur right before an election).
Some of the other bands include possibly Grant Haze, Spader, Art Lord, Pro-L and Countdown Quartet. I don’t think Chico’s heard back from all them yet.
I think it’s supposed to start around 7 pm and have gumbo and junk.

Thank you for your cooperation with our ongoing investigation.

The Ventriloquizer DL
retroactivedynamics.com

just a friendly note

Friends, Neighbors, Active Volunteers:
It has been brought to the attention to the Department of Immanent Activity that our econo-temporal regulatory methods have not been altogether effective in maintaining a healthy production-oriented schedule for our individual units.
Therefore and henceforth, each Voluntary Citizen will submit a compulsory, hourly work report, every hour on the hour, to s/he/its regional station chief or project manager. Just a friendly note to let us know what you’re up to so we can effectively maintain the control network and keep production up to the deserving standards of the consumer.
Starting at five minutes past each hour, CTC (as distributed by the Head Office Atomic Clock, allowing for variations due to non-Einsteinian torsion differences), each Citizen who has not submitted a work report will have five minutes subtracted from s/he/its surplus time reservoir. As always, those who’ve run out of surplus time will be Retired.
Also, there will be a Company pep rally tomorrow at 10 pm in the ConApt Commons (details below). However, due to a small radiation leak nearby we must advise that you wear decoratively festooned regulation company radiation suits, which can be rented at the Home Safety office in the Warren G Harding building in Free Zone 3.
Compulsory hourly work reports will be suspended for the two-hour duration of the pep rally. Enjoy!

Wednesday, September 7, Bickett Gallery: The Blue Rose Case.
Chris Eubank on cello/bass/vocoder (yourboy.com), Carrie Shull on oboe/english horn (buy her record you fool: http://www.allaboutjazz.com/php/article.php?id=18341), Jane Allen Wilson on vox (of Quisp fame), Mahlon Hoard on tenor/soprano sax (http://www.umbrellarecordings.com/release.php?id=9), Crowmeat Robert on horns and guitar (retroactivedynamics.com).
This show will be dedicated to everyone who regrets they voted for Bush.
Fuck you. You should’ve known better when it mattered, you fucking dipshits.
That guy makes Nixon look great. Nero, too.

Wednesday, September 14: The Red Circle.
Rick Lassiter on bass (ricklassiter.com), David Morris on tuba (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm1970535/), Bryan McCune on cornet/efx (http://zonerangers.com/about.htm), Crowmeat Blob on horns and guitar.

Friday, September 16, Local 506, Chapel Hill: Pleasant with The Sames and North Elementary.
CD release party for my old roommate Sean Parker’s band. I played on the record and will be joining for a number or two on stage. We used to rock out to the Pixies and Meat Puppets together back at old 420 5th St. And he made me drive to Chapel Hill to see Modest Mouse once.
pleasantmusic.com
thesames.com
northelementary.com

Saturday, September 17, Kings Barcade, Raleigh: Kolyma with Mowing Lawns and Maple Stave.
Rock you.
myspace.com/kolyma
maplestave.com
Mowing Lawns is primarily Mike Meyerson and Todd Emmert writing songs together. They don’t seem to have a website. Damn. Wake up and smell what century you livin in motherfuckas.

Those not attending the pep rally will be docked.

–The Ventriloquizer DL
Work-Flow Engineer and Deputy Eugenicist
Retroactive Dynamics, Inc.

Ask about our “Future Credit for Time Earned” work incentive program.