A Better You

Friends, it’s time we looked ourselves square in the mirror and decided once and for all that we can improve our lots in life. It’s time we took stock of ourselves and decided how best to let our true human potential deliver us into greatness. No longer can we walk through our day in a somnambulac state of remote control. No longer can we settle for just barely good enough. We know we’re better than that, goshdarnit. We know we can rule like gods over those pathetic punters we have to stand in line behind at the Burger King. We know we can break through to unheard-of levels of psychic communication with astral travellers from Saturn. Or from Wisconsin.

But first, let’s check out some music, hm?:

Wednesday, Nov 30, Kings, 10 pm: Milgram’s Minions.
We will take all responsibility for your actions; leave the moral dilemmas to us. With newcomer to Raleigh Julian Sparacino on reeds, Dana Chell on guitar, Mahlon Hoard on saxes, Dan Hall on drums, Christopher Thurston on basses, and Crowmeat Bob on horns and guitar.

Wednesday, Dec 7, Kings: no Dr. Robert’s Health Spazz tonight. You’ll have to find some other way to celebrate Pearl Harbor Day. I think Spader is shooting a video there that night or something.

slow season.

-The Ventriloquizer DL
retroactivedynamics.com

How was that for inspirational, Steve?

ile ab ipse

The Hollowdaze has saddled upon us with its annuary penury. Le pauvre esprit de l’Americain laid. Bread and Circuses Day, that most cannibalistic of celebrations save Communion. And ourselves no less than our patriotic kinsmen will englut our appetites in the womb of our northerly nuclear home, leaving the weakly Health Jazz in the hands of witch doctors as we brazenly disregard Hippocratic allegiances to those needy multitudes.

Wednesday, Nov 23, Kings: Bloodworth.
Said witch doctors being nominally Brian Donohoe (of Strange) - drums, electronix - and Christopher Thurston (of Razor Wire Safety Net) - basses, synth, fx.

Wednesday, Nov 30, Kings: Milgram’s Minions.
We will enunciate the sting of the order-word: Dana Chell, guitar; Mahlon Hoard, saxophones; Dan Hall, drums; Crowmeat Bob, horns, guitar; probably other subjects.

And we eagerly await the solstice sale-abration when Satan in his sleigh visits all the boys and girls.
Gobbler, gobble thyself.
-The Ventriloquizer DL
Pataphysician General
retraoctivedynamics.com

catch you on the rewind

We wind a serpentile way thro the berthless brine, coquettishly cuckolded while tenaciously filial to our imbecility, minds washed clear of culpability, hands bloodless, eyes blinded by the soporific surgelight of true gnawledge — that transubstantial scrutiny-standard-bearer, ever dangling its impulpable fizzique before our greepsing articulations.

10 pm’s:

Wednesday, Nov 16, Kings Barcade: Coalescent.
Dr. Robert sponsors a guitar freenzy with Drew Robertson, Dustin Dorsey, Craig Hilton, marc faris, Chuck Johnson, Tom Whitelock, Andrew Austin and Crowmeat Bob.

Friday, Nov 18, 810 Glenwood, Raleigh: Kolyma with Another Tombstone Dream.
House party. Please don’t print this one in the Independent. This will be a joint birthday venture for house resident Michelle Lanteri and Kolyma vocalist Jennifer Thomas. Tombstone Dream will probably play first.
At the corner of Glenwood and Tilden.

Saturday, Nov 19, Kings: Savage Nights with Captured by Robots and Plumerai.
Real life robots and simulated jazz musicians. And some kind of white soul pop.

Wednesday, Nov 23, Kings: Brian Donohoe and Christopher Thurston.
Since I will be elsewhidder, I enlisted Briney “Tuppy” Donohoe of Strange to curate the Dr. Robert Health Spazz night as an intern. Come celebrate the most imperialist of holidays after Columbine Day with he and Thursty.

Until the twisted noughts of fait accompli deliver us into each udder’s firing range,
–The Ventriloquizzer DL
retroactivedynamics.com
“Building you a better yesterday…tomorrow.”

goddamn it. I just Google-assed “greepsing” out of suspicion that I’d read it before and of course the gleerious James J used it first in the Wake. And now I have used it in his wake. Must have unknowingly kept that one kickin around my kranium from one of my perusals of that Good Book.

then I Gougled “gleerious” and some guy named Ben Goertzel already used it in some kind of uber-literate techno-porn writing.

Creepin jesus.

done in

If we take Momma’s car it’ll sure wake her, and I cain’t wake Momma because you don’t know how she gets when she gets woke before six and even if it was an emergency I’d never hear the end of it but we don’t need her car anyways do we, Tommy? We could just sorta borrow Ben’s ’cause he always leaves the keys in it and it’s parked down the hill from his house in that old barn and he’d prob’ly never miss it anyways, leastways not til next Friday when he gets paid and goes into town to do whatever it is he does every week and doesn’t get back til dawn. And if we was to take Luke in Ben’s car out to the quarry and like weight him down with rocks so’s he doesn’t come floating up like Betty Mae did last summer when her uncle Ed done her in with a hammer and tried to make like she up and runnoft but really just threw her in the lake out back of their farm and then Rug Mitchell seen her a-floatin there when he was out fishin. So like if we wrapped Luke up good in a tarp with some heavy rocks why no one would ever think we done it. Besides it was sort of an accident anyways, right? I mean you was just trying to scare him right? You didn’t think it was loaded. We should throw the gun in the quarry too ’cause they got ways of telling what bullets came from what gun. Tommy? Stop foolin with me. Gimme the gun. Tommy? Why you lookin at me so funny?

Wednesday, November 9, Kings Barcade, 10 pm: Dexter Romweber & the New Romans with DJ Krazerock.
King Coleman & the Creepy T’s was gonna play too but they was already on their tour and old King started having dizzy spells and so they had to cancel some shows ’cause I guess they was worried if he was gonna make it.
But don’t you worry, it’ll still be a bang-up time. And I’m sure old King’s just fine.

Sunday, Nov 13, The Werehouse, Winston-Salem: O.N.E. with Paper Legs and Shark with Wings.
ONE is the offspring of Michael Thomas Jackson (www.microearth.com/jackson). It’ll be mostly improvised.
The Werehouse satisfies.
www.thewerehouse.com

Wednesday, Nov 16, Kings Barcade: Coalescent.
Dr. Robert sponsors a guitar frenzy with Drew Robertson, Dustin Dorsey, Craig Hilton, marc faris, Chuck Johnson, Tom Whitelock and Crowmeat Bob.

Saturday, Nov 19, Kings Barcade: Savage Nights with Captured by Robots and Plumerai.
Real life robots and simulated jazz musicians. And some kind of white soul pop.

-The Ventriloquizer DL
retroactivedynamics.com

Now Here Dis

Plausible Denial plays Hypertrophy. (mp3)

That’s Tom Whitelock and Crowmeat Bob.