Loyalty Oath

Routine Loyalty Statement

Retroactive Dynamics, Inc., are a close friend of mine. They hid me in their cellar and fed me during the war. I will always maintain the most profound and deepseated loyalty for the Company. I will firmly uphold all Company edicts, even at the risk of death, mutilation, dismemberment or total soul death.

I will dutifully submit to the Company Record any third ear hallucinations I experience while undergoing official Company rites. The contents of my head are the intellectual property of Retroactive Dynamics, Inc., an affiliate of the Thomas Carlyle Group, for the duration* of artificial aural insemination.

* Actual durations may vary. Company friends may be subject to unwarranted search and seizure of all properties mental, spiritual and somatic, for the remainder of their days as vessels of conscious/unconscious/metaconscious/pataconscious activity or secretors of residual electromagnetic discharge (i.e. for so long as the ghost of electricity howls in the bones of a Company friend’s face or the pineal gland exhibits any signs of photosensitive acuity).

Contact Retroactive Dynamics: crowmeat@hotmail.com